Mead Mahoney
I've enjoyed all your rememberances of Mr. Burnett. I had my one moment in the spotlight in his class, so if you will indulge me I'll share it here. Warning: I write as if I'm in conversation with you. Lots of dot, dot dots... Mr. 'B' will be spinning in his grave on this one. The class must have been the last one of the day... 6th period? I distinctly remember that it was during this class that, on Nov. 22, 1963, Principal Rupp came on the intercom for what was the second time in about 30 minutes and said that he had decided it would be best if we all packed up and went home to our TV sets. (Joe Blake...class historian par excellence, I think you might have been in that class?)
I had transferred to Shaker for my Senior year. My family was coming up from Norfolk, VA. My father was a career Marine and we moved about every 3 years. Shaker was my third high school and it was an eye opener. Never before had I been in a school where better than half the kids had been together since grade school. That was totally unheard of in my prior school experience. I think I was the only new kid in Mrs. Eichenbaum's Home Room. Obviously I knew zip about this Mr. Burnett guy. We started out with Beowulf. Can somebody please tell me what good that ever did? Beowulf went flying right over my head and I have no intention of Googling it now. Why spoil a nice day here in Orinda, CA?
The story: Mr 'B' takes out this ornate plate from his desk drawer... puts it on a plate stand and proceeds to tell us that our assignment is to write a one-act play about the plate. The look on everyone's faces said the very same thing. Is this guy nuts er what? Confusion reigned and for once not just on me! At home I decided to take a BIG chance and approach the whole assignment from what I was pretty sure would be a unique angle. To hell with the bloody plate... my play would be all about the class reaction to the plate assignment. Real names (ours) where assigned to every word in the play. If you were in the class you were fair game for my barbed pen! I had Alan Farkas always in a Brooks Brothers suit and one step away from Wall Street... no college needed. He and Steven Green were mumbling threats of legal action if this "plate" assignment in any way put their Ivy League plans in jeopardy. Things were getting tense. (To this day I have no idea what others wrote for this assignment.)
The days comes and our graded papers... our one-act plays... are being returned. You know the drill. The first one in every row is handed a stack of papers. You take yours off the top and then pass the remainder back one for a repeat of the procedure. I'm about half way back in the row. I am passed the remaining stack and my name is NOT next on top. Not to worry, I say. I check for my name elsewhere in the remaining stack. Nada. Big time panic sets in... he never got my play... he views me as the ONLY one in the WHOLE class who chose not to do the assignment. I need an antacid and I need it quick! Then, Mr. 'B' looks over to me and says, "With your permission, I would like to read your play to the class." Holy s**t !!! I nervously give him the nod to go for it... or 1964's polite version of "knock yourself out." He had extra copies and assigned some students to read the words / thoughts of those among us lucky enough to make into my masterpiece. Everything I had written was big time tongue-in-cheek. Few escape my slings and arrows. My effort is well received by all. Soon I would be writing for Jerry Seinfeld... is no? Eric Ehrmann leans over to me and says, "YOU wrote that thing?" In hindsight, his tone was probably that of... you can barely spell your own name. (Everyone... Google Eric Wayne Ehrmann / Rolling Stone Magazine. There's some good reading there.)
Much too long... Joe Blake is already scripting his next missive... (wow, I still got it...), but I have obviously long enjoyed my Mr. Burnett memory.
Mead . . .
Labor Day and we still haven't found Jimmy Hoffa. Geeze...
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